Dear, Not Worth It.

I get two questions asked a lot:

1. What would you do if you saw your abusive ex in person?

2. What would you say to him if you could?

If I saw him in person, I would do nothing. I would act like he never existed. Like I didn’t once love him, like I didn’t have his baby inside me, like he didn’t put me through hell.

Since I do not expect to ever run across this person again, here is my open letter to the man who tried to take everything from me. What I would say to him.

Dear Not Worth It,

From moment one you almost had me fooled. You thought I was dumb enough to fall for your lies, but all along, you were just a bet I made with a friend.

You put me through hell, but damn you made me even stronger.

I lost that bet, but in the end, you made me a warrior.

I hope you found God.

I hope you are somewhere on your knees praying and changing that soul of yours.

I pray you became a better man.

I pray you told your son’s mother, that you cheated on her with me, and it led to your first child.

The child that you will never meet unless you change the monster inside of you.

Ask for forgiveness not only from God, but from her too.

I pray that you see the light and grace before it’s too late.

I can only hope you changed, since you are around children, and sponsored by fishing brands that keep kids by you. I mean, you nearly killed a man before me…. Would they continue to support someone like that? I often wonder and pray like hell that monster is gone.

I found a strength I’ve never known because of you.

I can breathe again because my monster (you) is no longer a part of me.

This is one of those things, that only God can forgive. So, find Him.

You mean nothing.

You are nothing.

I am proud of who I am now.

My truth, my story will come out, but until then, I wish you farewell.

When I am finished, they will never know your name.

Sincerely,

The one who truly won in the end, I beat you!